i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
