Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
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