I just pynch a tree in the face
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
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