Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Randomize
