I got chris browned last night
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Randomize
