omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
