I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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