I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
