i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
