I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
