Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
