went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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