I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
