I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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