i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
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