I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
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On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
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Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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