And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I am in a vortex of obligation.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
