Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Randomize
