She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize