Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Randomize
