i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
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I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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