Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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