I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
