Michael Bay diarrhea
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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