She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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