saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
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