Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
