Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
You smell like stripper and shame
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
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