i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
it's like heaven, but drunker
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
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