If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Randomize
