Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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