Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
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