You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
