ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
