Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
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