addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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