I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
