whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Randomize
