Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
