He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
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