but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I FOUND THE LEGS
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
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