69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
