Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
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