Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Randomize
