I think i peed on brittanys purse
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
