He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
