he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
