i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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