I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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