I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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