dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
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I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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