this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
