I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I wish they made helmets for livers.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize