just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize