Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize