Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
