last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
