You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
