Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Can you bring me the toilet please
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
