Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
