i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
